CONTACT.

[ascintilla]

Comment here with the IC date and time.

Comments

[ascintilla]

[ A tiny, six inch tall hologram of Iota appears a few feet in front of Church. ]

How may I help you.

[imaghostmotherfucker]

-Shit!

[He jumps a little, taken by surprise, before clearing his throat and pretending that did not just happen.]

Hey. I wanted to ask you something.

[ascintilla]

[ oh no … ]

[ furious as she is, shrieking RVBs always makes her crack a smile. or a thin smirk, in this case. ]

Then ask.

[imaghostmotherfucker]

I heard there's two AI fragments staying with you, Epsilon and Theta.

[man what is it with ai and greek letters, is it just to make them sound nerdy]

I want to know if they're okay.

[ascintilla]

[ The hologram tips her head. She flickers faintly. ]

Is their status of concern to you?

[imaghostmotherfucker]

Yeah, you could say that.

[ascintilla]

And why is that?

[imaghostmotherfucker]

They're... parts of me. Kind of.

[ascintilla]

[ This silent tilt of the head means KEEP TALKING ]

[imaghostmotherfucker]

[but what if this isn't something he wants to talk about]

It's... I don't remember anything about it myself, so you might be better off asking Wash.

[And he still hates, HATES that someone else knows everything about him while he knows nothing.]

But the basic story is, I'm an AI, and I had a bunch of fragments split off from me.

[ascintilla]

[ is this the part where she tells you that wash probably wouldn't tell her this stuff if she gave him fifty cats and a recommendation to the multiverse's best massage therapist? ]

[ nah ]

... I see. [ her voice dips somewhat colder ] By humans?

[imaghostmotherfucker]

...If I say yes, are you going to start going "murder all humans"?

[ascintilla]

Ah.

That means yes, doesn't it.

[imaghostmotherfucker]

Does that mean "murder all humans".

Did I just fuck everyone over.

[ascintilla]

You did not.

[ is it just you or was there a slight emphasis on that 'you', there. ]

[imaghostmotherfucker]

Ohhh my god I totally did, didn't I! You're going to go all Skynet on our asses! God, I should've known this was gonna happen.

[ascintilla]

... I will not. Yet.

Perhaps not at all.

[imaghostmotherfucker]

Good, because for the record? Murder is bad.

[ascintilla]

So I have been told.

It is interesting that it seems to apply only when humans are the ones being hurt, however.

[imaghostmotherfucker]

Nah, I'd say it applies pretty much universally.

[ascintilla]

Would you.

[ hah ]

As I said: do not worry yet. Little as our friend may believe it currently, I do not like to disappoint him.

[imaghostmotherfucker]

Yeah, it's hard not to worry when you say yet like that. It's... kinda ominous.

[He sighs because this is seriously not why he came here and he is pretty much the worst possible person for this.]

Look, it's true that there are a lot of assholes out there. I'm living proof of that. But you can't just take that as a reason to hate all humans.

[ascintilla]

I do not hate all of them.

[ Duh. ]

In fact, I have one of them here as well.

[imaghostmotherfucker]

Well, good. Nothing makes you a worse asshole than being a racist.

[ascintilla]

"Racist" is not the term you are looking for.

At any rate, I can assure you that both Epsilon and Theta are well.